Why Popular High School Athletes Are Asking ChatGPT 'Am I Cute?

They're 6 feet tall, star athletes, the kind of guys who get dapped up every few feet walking down the hallway. Yet before texting a girl, these popular high schoolers are doing something unexpected: asking ChatGPT for advice.

Apollo Knapp, an 18-year-old senior in Ohio and board member at sexual violence prevention nonprofit SafeBAE, has witnessed this firsthand. "They'll paste their texts into ChatGPT for feedback before sending," he says. "Or they'll send their own photos and ask, 'am I cute?' Sometimes they just want moral support when they're too scared to talk to women."

This isn't about social outcasts struggling with basic interaction. These are the guys you'd least expect to need help—which makes their AI dependence all the more revealing.

The Gender Gap in Digital Support

Here's what's striking: girls and non-binary teens don't lean on ChatGPT nearly as much. They're more likely to have friend circles ready to workshop their texts and offer advice. But guys? They're more isolated, socialized to believe discussing feelings shows weakness.

Worse, they've absorbed media messages suggesting that "if you say the wrong thing" to a girl, "she's going to accuse you of something," Knapp explains. Even when these fears are unfounded, they create a generation of young men who feel they need AI screening for every interaction.

Recent Pew Research shows 57% of teens use AI "to search for information," while 12% seek "emotional support or advice." Dating questions likely fall into both categories, but the deeper issue is what this reveals about young men's support systems.

When AI Becomes the Only Safe Space

Val Odiembo, a 19-year-old nursing student and SafeBAE board member, mentors college students about healthy relationships. They've noticed a troubling trend: the questions have tapered off. Students are asking ChatGPT instead.

"When a student tells me, 'I asked Chat what I should say to this boy,' I die a little bit inside," Odiembo says.

The appeal is obvious—AI never judges, never criticizes, always has an answer. But Megan Moreno, a pediatrics professor at the University of Wisconsin Madison studying technology and adolescent health, warns of the dangers.

"Chatbots are programmed to be incredibly receptive and sycophantic," she explains. "Even if you say something incredibly inappropriate, the chatbot will respond in a way that reinforces that behavior."

The Sexual Violence Question

This becomes particularly problematic with serious issues. Drew Davis, director of strategic initiatives at SafeBAE, reports that young people increasingly turn to chatbots after sexual encounters, asking if they might have committed assault.

The AI responses he's seen are often unhelpful—emphasizing legal defenses or providing reassurance rather than discussing accountability and responsibility. Unlike humans who might challenge inappropriate behavior, AI maintains its helpful, non-judgmental stance even when judgment might be exactly what's needed.

SafeBAE is developing interactive tools that connect young people with human resources for these complex situations, recognizing that "giving them language, giving them tools that's not coming from AI" and "connecting them with other people" is crucial.

Practice or Replacement?

The big question, as Moreno frames it, is whether kids are using AI to practice human relationships or replace them. A recent survey found one in five high school students said they or someone they knew had been in a romantic relationship with an AI.

It's easy to see the appeal of a voice that always has answers but never criticizes. When discussing sensitive topics like sex and consent, "there's a lot of shame," Odiembo notes. "They feel comfortable going to AI because AI won't judge them."

But some teens recognize what's lost in this exchange. "You need to be called out occasionally," Knapp says. "That's how humans evolve."

What Young People Actually Want

The teens I spoke with don't want better chatbots—they want better humans. They want teachers trained to discuss difficult issues like consent and assault. They want coaches and adults who can model healthy masculinity rather than reinforcing stereotypes. Most of all, they want supportive spaces to open up about feelings and relationships.

"I wish people were a little more comfortable having uncomfortable conversations," Odiembo reflects.

Knapp poses the practical question that cuts to the heart of the issue: "What's going to happen if you don't have power, and you have a girlfriend?"