That Text Just Flipped Your World Upside Down. A Psychologist Explains How to Handle the Shock.

A single notification can turn a normal day on its head. Whether it's a confusing message from a grandparent learning to use an iPhone or a sudden breakup text from a partner, unexpected messages have the power to jolt us out of our routines. The ambiguity of text, where tone and sarcasm are often lost, only adds to the potential for shock and confusion.

Inspired by a Bored Panda collection of messages that caught recipients completely off-guard, we looked into the psychology of handling these sudden emotional impacts. How can we maintain composure when we're blindsided? A psychologist offers a clear roadmap.

Why Unexpected News Hits So Hard

According to psychologist Jennice Vilhauer, Ph.D., negative emotions like fear and anger can cause the brain's 'executive network'—the part responsible for problem-solving—to constrict and work less effectively. This is why it’s so difficult to think clearly and find a positive path forward when you've just received a shock.

Positive emotions, on the other hand, help the brain generate more creative solutions. "While you can't control the occurrence of unexpected situations, you can control how you respond," Vilhauer said. That choice, she explains, can make all the difference in how you feel and ultimately deal with the issue.

Four Ways to Reclaim Control When You're Blindsided

1. Pause: Choose a Response, Not a Reaction

Before you do anything, stop. "There is a huge difference between a reaction and a response," Vilhauer highlighted. A reaction is an automatic, almost reflexive impulse. A response, however, is a conscious choice made after a thoughtful assessment. Simply practicing deep breathing or counting to 10 can create a crucial window to restrain an emotional reaction and choose a better response.

2. Reframe: Don't Assume It's 'Bad'

Most people automatically assume an unwanted event is a bad thing that will lead to a worse outcome. But for most things, there's no way of knowing their ultimate impact. Vilhauer suggests that instead of assuming a situation is bad, which only generates negative emotions, you should practice saying to yourself, "We shall see." This keeps you open to unexpected positive turns.

3. Plan: Expect a Good Outcome

Many people hope for the best but plan for the worst. The problem, Vilhauer explained, is that "we act on our expectations, yet our actions create our experiences." If you want a good outcome, you have to plan for one. The moment you ask, "What can I do to make this better?" you take the first step in planning for events to go well, regaining a sense of control.

4. Trust: Remember Your Own Resilience

You've been through difficult things before and survived. When in the middle of a new challenge, try to recall those past experiences. "Knowing your own strength is important for self-confidence," Vilhauer concluded. By redirecting your attention from the problem to the knowledge that you're able to handle it, you'll start to feel better and more in control.