'I Feel Like a Hexagon': The Wildest Things People Say After Anesthesia

"Heard the heart monitor beeping, started smiling and humming and blurted out 'TURN IT UP! I LOVE THIS SONG!!!' The doctor and nurses thought it was hilarious."

If you've ever seen someone coming out of anesthesia, you know their brain's filter can temporarily go offline. People say and do the wildest things in this disoriented state. In fact, a 2015 study showed that 31% of patients show signs of delirium for at least 30 minutes after waking up.

Recently, doctors, nurses, and patients took to the internet to share their most unhinged, embarrassing, and hilarious post-anesthesia stories. From unexpected declarations of love to commanding imaginary armies, here are some of the gems from the moments our subconscious minds take the wheel.

Unfiltered Confessions and Crushes

The recovery room can sometimes become a stage for unfiltered romance. One patient recalled the mortifying moment she woke up from a procedure, squeezed her anesthesiologist's bicep, and said, “Ohhh Dr RodrIGUEZZZZ, you’re sooooo nice and strongggg.” Another person, after telling her husband she loved him, turned to the nurse and added, "I love you too, but in a different way."

Sometimes the honesty is a bit more... blunt. One patient woke up and told his nurse, "Damnnnnn they gave me the hot nurse. That nurse before I went under was mean and kinda ugly." When the male nurse replied, "Hey guy, that was also me!" the patient shot back, "No way? Those are some strong beer goggles. Hey! Get my wife in here I wanna see if she’s hot too."

When Reality Gets Weird

Anesthesia has a way of blurring the lines between the real and the surreal. One patient started petting their nurse's head as she was putting on a leg sleeve. In their groggy state, they were convinced their cat had curled up on their leg. Another man spent several hours believing he was Elvis Presley, warning his daughter that a nurse was trying to steal the keys to his pink Cadillac.

Language skills can also go haywire. A native French speaker woke up completely unable to speak French for nearly four hours, stuck in "English only mode." Another patient, who knew only a few polite phrases in Romanian, woke up speaking what she described as "super bad Romanian" for a full hour.

Perhaps one of the most bizarre declarations came from a patient undergoing ketamine treatments. During one session, he turned to his nurse and stated matter-of-factly, "Man, I feel like a hexagon."

PRISM Insight: This phenomenon, known as "emergence delirium," is more than just a collection of funny anecdotes. It's a fascinating look at the human subconscious when the thin veil of social conditioning and self-control is lifted. Our fascination with these stories stems from their raw authenticity and unpredictability; they reveal a universal human vulnerability and remind us how easily our rational minds can be sidelined by our biology. In a world of curated personas, these unfiltered moments are both hilarious and deeply human.