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Beyond 'The One': Why 30 Women Settled for Good Enough Relationships

2 min readSource

Does 'The One' exist? Explore 30 honest accounts from women who chose settling for a good partner over the soulmate myth, and how their lives turned out.

Is there really a single person out of 7.6 billion people meant for you? While pop culture fuels the myth of the soulmate, a viral thread on Reddit has sparked a raw discussion about the reality of marrying someone who is simply 'good' rather than 'perfect.' The responses offer a fascinating look at the shift from romanticism to pragmatism in modern coupledom.

The Reality of Settling for a Good Partner

Many participants argued that the concept of 'The One' is a toxic ideal that sets relationships up for failure. One user, married for 28 years, noted that she didn't feel a magical connection at first. Instead, she chose her partner because he met her needs, and over decades, that choice transformed him into 'The One.' For many, stability, respect, and safety have proven more valuable than the fleeting 'butterflies' of early romance.

  • Pragmatic Love: Choosing partners based on shared values rather than cinematic sparks.
  • Safety First: A sense of emotional security often outweighs physical attraction in long-term success stories.

When Pragmatism Fails: The Cost of Compromise

However, settling doesn't always lead to a happily-ever-after. Relationship coach Jane Parker highlights that internal loneliness can manifest when emotional needs aren't met, regardless of how 'good' a partner is. The pandemic further stressed these dynamics, with many women reporting that the lack of romantic passion made the increased domestic burden during lockdowns harder to bear.

One woman shared her regret after a 3-year marriage, stating she 'wasted more time' by staying with the wrong person just to start a family. These stories serve as a reminder that while safety is crucial, a total lack of attraction or intellectual stimulation can lead to a 'soul-draining' experience.

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